“Smiles everyone, smiles!”

I couldn’t decide between Fantasy Island or the Cavity Creeps to mention in this post, but you get the idea. Yes, it was our very first trip to the dentist.

We probably waited a bit too long given that our oldest is 5, but it took some time to find a good pediatric dentist. We didn’t want to scare the kids and make them hate the idea of going by exposing them to a hack.

Luckily some friends turned us on to the perfect office. They handle everyone who has a fear of all things dentist related — adults and kids alike. We were put at ease instantly when we walked through the door

What makes kids laugh?

So I was sitting at the dinner table with the 3 kids the other night, and I made a sound that sent the kids into hysterical laughter. It wasn’t an unusual sound. It was something like a “Doh!” from Homer Simpson, but nowhere near as funny. Yet for some reason the kids couldn’t get enough.

Now I’m no comedian, so when something like this happens, I milk it for all it is worth. There is nothing like having a captive audience who loves your material — especially when their laughs are so damn cute.

I can remember the first time my daughter had an after school play date with her friend Cristel. I picked the then 4-year old girls up from school, and was fascinated at the jokes the girls were telling each other in the back seat.

“Knock, knock.” Payton said.

“Who’s there?” replied Cristel.

“Bananna.”

“Bananna who?”

“Bananna Cristel-head!”

Then they would scream with laughter. and repeat the routine all the way home.

All this got me thinking: What makes kids laugh? Why are the most inane noises and meaningless jokes so damn funny? Do they just laugh because it feels good and not really because something tickles the funny bone?

Poop and parenting

The weekend started perfectly. Some great cuban food after our annual award ceremony at work. I managed to make it over the drawbridge just in time after leaving work instead of getting stuck. Got home, kissed the wife, grabbed a beer, and hopped into the pool with the kids. Ahhhhhhhh, heaven.

That was when Simon (15 mos) dropped a bomb in the pool.

Ever see Caddyshack? As the rest of the kids lept from the water screaming, I scooped up the baby and ran for the skimmer. Didn’t do much good as the cloud of crap slowly sank to the bottom. So I grabbed the chemicals and the pool vaccuum to start sanitizing, and then it happend again.

At least this time Simon had the courtesy to leave his mark on the pool deck rather than in the water, but it just added to Daddy’s clean up list.

1. Chemicals in the pool? Check!
2. Vaccuum up poop? Check!
3. Hose off deck and baby? Check!

SIMON! You guessed it. Another puddle of poop on the deck. How much crap can come out of a one year old? His plan was to test the limit as he proceeded to leave yet another mark on the concrete.

All this got me thinking. As parents we put up with a lot of shit – both literally and figuratively. What is the worst you’ve had to put up with?

Got all 3 kids to bed. By myself.

Hold the applause. I cheated a bit, but let me try and explain.

My wife is home with the kids all day, so I try and give her the night off whenever possible. Tonight she went to meditation at our local Buddhist center, and I was left to put all 3 kids to bed – alone. If you’ve been there before, then you know that is no easy task. No blood. No tears. I’m opening my celebratory beer right now.

How did I pull it off? Two words. Baby Einstein.

1. Turn on DVD to “repeat play”
2. Place 7 month old in highchair
3. Make sure he has pacifier and toys

Granted I had to rush through the stories for the 21 month old, but I made it out before the baby started to scream. Ta da! Follow this with reading to the 5 year old while simultaneously giving the baby a bottle. All were in bed before “The Office” started at 9.

Write this date on the calendar, because I’ll probably never pull this off again. Damn, there goes the baby…

Why am I doing this?

Welcome to my blog. My very first post of my very first blog. I obviously have no idea what I’m doing here, so bare with me. First of all I need to give a shout out to Danny Sanchez for inspiring me to dive into the world of blogging. Next to Daniel Honigman who really opened my eyes to the crazy huge world of social media. This blog is my feeble attempt to contribute something of value to the world, thus I picked a subject for which I have an endless amount of material – my kids. I’ll have to throw in a few stories about the wife too, but I’m sure she’d much rather I not (shock). I’ve found dozens of mommy blogs, but very few for us daddys. So this is my attempt to provide a forum for us.

As you can see by my description and the photo gallery widget on my homepage, I have 3 kids: Payton (5), Gavin (21 mos), and Simon (7 mos). I figure the best way for me to write my stories is with a voice to other fathers out there who may be facing similar issues. Hopefully we can all put our heads together and help our kids grow up to be well adjusted, well educated, and decent members of society – or at least keep them out of jail.

I welcome all of your thoughts, stories, rants and feedback. I plan on doing lots of writing and venting through this medium, so check back often.